


lies tell me lies

by sleepdeprivedphilosopher



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst, Jealous Simon, M/M, One Shot, Post-Break Up, Post-Canon, a three part essay by simon snow and baz pitch, and baz sees right through him, dancing and drinking is a great way to deal with your ex randomly showing up, inspired by an ellie goulding song, just kidding I never had one, let her rest, making out against a wall is also a healthy method, or how not to deal with your feeling, penny is tired, seriously they're so stupid, simon is a terrible liar, when will my normal sleeping pattern return from war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 12:51:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20309806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepdeprivedphilosopher/pseuds/sleepdeprivedphilosopher
Summary: He groans his approval into my neck. "I thought you hated me," he says while sucking on my Adam's apple."I do," I whimper, but I tighten my grip on his hips."Tell me more lies, Snow," Baz breathes then kisses me.They broke up six months ago, but Simon can't stop himself from crashing Baz's birthday. Baz is just drunk enough for this.There's a thin line between love and hate.





	lies tell me lies

**Author's Note:**

> hey void, 
> 
> so this is not an update on any of my current WIPs, but I've had to do a lot of driving for my job and therefore I've been listening to the radio a lot. the stations kept playing Ellie Goulding & Juice WRLD new song _Hate Me_ until it grew on me and now I can't get it out of my head. the song was too snowbazzy to resist writing a quick one shot so here we are. 
> 
> fair warning this got a bit more hot and heavy than I had originally planned. jealous simon equals handsy simon apparently. not that baz is complaining.
> 
> so yeah um 
> 
> enjoy?

**Simon**

"I hate you," I tell him. 

Baz raises an eyebrow at me. 

"I wish I never dated you," I say, but it sounds weak. 

"Fine," Baz says, looking bored. "Why are you here, then?" 

I don't have an answer to that. "I have a girlfriend." That's a lie Alyssa, and I broke up a week ago, but I'm feeling wrong-footed. 

"Didn't ask that," Baz says looking nonplussed, and like he doesn't believe me for half a second. "I asked why you're here."

"Penny brought me," I say. I insisted on coming. "Why are you having your birthday in a club anyway?" 

Baz shrugs a habit he picked up from me. Even now months later there are traces of us. "It's as good a place as any." 

I snort. Can't help it. "Baz you hate clubs." He never wanted to go with me. 

"Do I?" Baz drawls. 

"You've always said that the music was too loud and trashy and the people too drunk and handsy. I think your exact words were 'clubs are an unnecessary sensory overload.'" 

"You haven't seen me in six months," Baz says. "People change." 

"You don't," I say. He's always been the same arrogant twat who perfected the air of sneering at eleven. Too pretty and too bitter for his own good. Always been a difficult pill to swallow. Always been hard to manage. 

And I had gotten tired of it. 

"You did," Baz points out mildly. 

I want to flinch away from the reminder, but I've never really learned how to be vulnerable in front of him, and I'm not starting now. So I stay rooted in place and cross my arms defensively. 

"Well," Baz says as the silence drags on. "As much fun as this conversation is, I have actual guests to greet." Then he's gone before I can get a word in. 

I watch him go. Taking in the long hair, the dark jeans, and the floral button up. He's always been so cool. When I walked in with Penny, he barely gave me the time of day. Just a cold _Snow_ before heading to the bar. 

I stopped him on the way back. At the time, I told myself it was to wish him a happy birthday, but then we started arguing, and I realized that I just wanted his attention. 

I wanted his eyes on me. 

I wanted my eyes on him.

I-I missed him. So I told him I hated him. Maybe if I say it enough, I can convince both of us. 

I've got a few drinks in me, and he's on the dancefloor now, and he must be drunker than he seems because he's letting people touch him. At one point a guy was basically groping him, and Baz didn't bat an eye. He'd never have let me get away with that. Baz is terrible with PDA; it was one of the things we bickered about the most. 

"I'd just like to kiss my boyfriend in public," I told him exasperated. 

"Then find a different boyfriend," Baz bit back. "Your current one's emotionally repressed British gentry, which means hands-off when people can see." 

He did become more open to it the longer we dated, but we never reached the point where he'd let me stick my tongue down his throat while grinding on him in the center of the dancefloor to Brittney Spears's _Circus_. 

Yet wonders never cease he's letting a stranger do precisely that. 

My blood is boiling. 

"Simon," Penny says next to me. "Calm down." 

"I am calm," I say. 

Penny shakes her head. "I knew bringing you here was a mistake."

"I'm fine," I say through gritted teeth. 

"Si if you still had magic you'd be seconds from blowing." 

The stranger rubs a hand down Baz's chest then up again. Baz leans further back into him. His top button comes undone. Baz finds my eyes and holds them.

I swallow hard, hands shaking and start towards them. I hear Penny calling after me, but I ignore her. 

Another song starts when I reach them, and I grab Baz's arm. He turns his head towards me, smirking like he knows exactly what he's doing to me. He probably does. 

The man he was "dancing" with notices me too. "Hell, you want?" He demands, annoyed. If I weren't so pissed, maybe I'd pity him, after all, I know what it's like to have Baz that close. 

Instead, it just makes me angrier. I feel like growling, but I don't. 

Baz hums and presses a lingering kiss against the man's cheek that makes my teeth grind together before stepping out of his arms.

And into mine which automatically wrap around him once he's close enough. Baz presses his face into my neck, and something in me settles. 

The stranger is glaring daggers at me now. I give him a smug victorious look then I spin Baz away. 

Baz wraps his arms around my neck and pushes his body even closer to mine. I groan a little. He feels so good. I'd forgotten (purposely) how good he feels. 

"Dance with me, Snow," he requests, rocking his hips into mine.

I don't argue. I want this too much right now to argue. My hands slip down his sides and grab his hips. 

He groans his approval into my neck. "I thought you hated me," he says while sucking on my Adam's apple. 

"I do," I whimper, but I tighten my grip on his hips. 

"Tell me more lies, Snow," Baz breathes then kisses me. 

I melt into him, kissing him back hard. 

"I don't miss you," I whisper against his lips. 

Baz tugs me closer, and I'm digging my fingers into his hips. 

"I never needed you." I'm biting his lower lip. 

"You weren't good for me." I'm yanking my fingers through his hair.

I'm pushing him into a secluded corner. He's dragging me down. "I don't think about you."

_I do._

He's moaning into my mouth. "I've replaced you." 

_She wasn't you._

I'm undoing the buttons of his shirt. "I'm over you."

_I'm not._

I'm sucking on his tongue. "I'm over you." 

_I never want to let you go._

The kiss turns bruising and desperate.

"I hate you."

He smiles against my lips. 

_I don't._

**Author's Note:**

> this post was completed at 5:30 AM. I don't have to work until 4:30 tomorrow, but considering I wrote most of this earlier today why exactly did I wait so long to edit it? 
> 
> I dunno, but who needs a normal sleep pattern anyway? 
> 
> I've learned to function without one. 
> 
> -still sleep deprived.


End file.
